Zootopia 2: Sequel to the Movie
by Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps
Summary: Written on a prompt from friends, who wished to see me write an absolutely atrocious piece of literature...you have been warned. Nick and Judy love being police officers, and love Zootopia, but life is crazy and some mammals still hate them, or love them. Join them in their adventure being officers and upholding the law, justice, and stuff. Cover art from Murlik over on Deviantart.
1. How all stories begin, with a beginning

**Zootopia 2 The Sequel to the Movie**

 **AN: Please, please, _please_...don't take this seriously. Some of my friends wanted me to write a 'crack' Zootopia story after hearing about "Blick", and I agreed to write it. _That_ is what spawned this. This is about the worst writing I've ever, ever, _ever_ , done and I shudder upon looking at it. I hope you do as well.**

 **It is simply a compilation of every single meme and trope I could find out there about Zootopia. Everything from Jack Savage, to Judy repeatedly punching Nick, to love triangles and more. See how many you can find or recognize. ;)**

 **So with that warning and caution, enjoy this crack story; Zootopia 2: The Sequel to the Movie**

* * *

The restaurant doors opened, revealing a female grey rabbit in a police uniform, along with a red fox in a police uniform.

"Hey Nick and Judy!" said a random gazelle sitting in the cafe. "You guys are awesome!"

"Why thank you," Judy stated, blushing deeply at the compliment. Nick growled at the male antelope, baring his teeth at the prey animal while hissing, 'She's mine."

"I hate you guys!" cried a voice from the opposite end of the restaurant. The two cops turned and were shocked to see a white bunny with black stripes across his cheeks and ears.

"Jack Savage?" Judy gasped. "My ex-boyfriend."

Nick nodded. "Jack Savage."

Judy and Nick's anger was kindled against the rabbit for some reason. Judy karate chopped through the nearest table, breaking it in half and causing it to explode into splinters, killing several nearby rams, who unbeknownst to her, where planning an evil diabolical conspiracy to kill Nick because he was a fox.

"Nooooooooooooo!" screamed Judy, her anger so hot it lit the nearby table on fire. "Why are you here Jack! To split us up in some cliche love triangle?"

The owner of the restaurant came out, "What's going on!" the elephant trumpeted, as that is what elephants do. "Oh, Nick and Judy, you guys are amazing. Here, I'll clean up the mess."

"Thank you," Nick stated, before making out with Judy while he stared into her amethyst eyes, and her into his emerald ones, to the cheers of nearby mammals and the frustration of Jack, whose rage was so much he exploded, sending fluffy bits of bunny across the cafe.

Just then, Judy's phone rang. "Hello," Judy stated into the phone, as she saw her parents on the screen. "Oh hey, it's my parents" she said excitedly, putting it on speaker in the crowded restaurant so that anyone could hear what her parents said.

"Jude the Dude," her father stated angrily. "How dare you kiss that fox! You know your parents hate foxes, even though we work with one!"

"Shut up!" Judy yelled, "I love Nick and he loves me, you anti-speciest bigots who are suddenly that way even though there is no context for it!"

"Don't make us come to Zootopia to take you away from your stupid dreams, Jude the Dude!" Bonnie warned.

"Fine, I hate you and your overtly overt speciesm! I'm no longer your daughter, even though biologically I am!" Judy yelled, throwing her phone to the ground, causing it to turn off, then die, just like her dreams of having kits when she decided she loved Nick. She loved his amazing emerald eyes, his amazing fur, his amazing tail, and his amazing smirk. Everything was amazing in its amazingness about him.

"That's my Judy," Nick stated, gaining Judy's attention instantly as he used her first name. The fox thought about everything that Judy did for him. She made him think he was worth it, and made him a better fox. He had been in a deep depression since his parents were tragically murdered when he was nine, his house burnt down, his friends leaving him, and becoming an outcast in life. She brought him out of it though, which is why he loved her, and her amethyst eyes.

"Oh Nick," she blubbered, crying so much that they formed a pool of water around her feet. Again she kissed Nick passionately with passion, as they tore at each other's close, not caring, apparently for being in a restaurant and a public place.

Just then the door burst open and another ram holding two machine guns came through.

"You two are going to die!" he shouted, before shooting up the restaurant, bullets whizzing everywhere.

"Judy no!" Nick yelled, pushing Judy out of the way before getting shot fifty times in the chest. Judy pulled out a handgun bigger than herself from her belt and shot the ram in the head one time, causing it to explode and the ram to die, but not before cursing Judy and Nick out.

"No! Nick!" the bunny cried, hopping over to Nick's side, as that is how rabbits move, they hop. The fox was absolutely covered in blood, and it was filling the restaurant with nearly an inch of it on the floor so that customers had to wade through it to help the rabbit and fox officers.

An ambulance pulled up, even though nobody had yet to call 911, and loaded Nick inside. Judy went to follow, but tripped over the ram's body, which nobody cleaned up, and hit her head on the soft carpet, knocking herself out.

"I have you now," laughed an ominous voice, as the rabbit was picked up and carried away, unnoticed from the dozens of witnesses and cops surrounding the cafe.

* * *

Judy woke later, tied to a chair in a dimly lit room. "Where am I?" she asks for plot exposition purposes, even though without night vision, she can't see a thing.

"You are my prisoner, duh," came a voice from the darkness. A small figure approached and Judy gasped aloud. "Bellwether! How did you escape prison?"

The ewe raised her hoof, then looked at her henchmen. "How did we Kromp?"

The larger ram shrugged his shoulders. "You got me, by all accounts it doesn't make sense."

"Hey, I know that line!" Judy exclaimed. "But don't think because you are making random references to movies that I won't break free and arrest you!" Judy said this just as her paws were freed from her bindings.

"You can't escape!" Bellwether laughed with a hearty laugh for being such a small mammal. "I have made sure that Nick will find you and we'll kill you both at the same time in revenge for what you did, and then I will become mayor again and rule Zootopia!"

Judy gasped, then cried. "No, not Nick!"

"Then you must join me, and we will rule Zootopia together as ewe and bunny. Otherwise I'll kill your fox and his foxy charm!"

Judy gasped at the diabolicalness of the plot. How could she defeat Bellwether without Nick?

"Ok, I will join you," cried Judy. "To save Nick, who is probably already dead since he was shot 50 times, but I believe he is still alive!"

"Great, now you will go and kill Nick, or I will kill him, mwaahahaha."

"That makes no sense," Judy exclaimed, grabbing the gun offered her from the ewe. "But I'll kill Nick to save him." Judy left the building to go to a hospital to find and kill Nick.

* * *

Nick awoke in the hospital, feeling good as new while surveying the holes riddling his chest. He hopped out of bed, "Where's Judy?" he asked, while signing out of the hospital mere hours after being shot 50 times.

"She's being held hostage," Bogo snorted, as that is what buffalo's do, and appearing out of nowhere for plot sake.

"Oh no!" Nick cried, feeling a horrible sense of deja vu back to his childhood, and how his mother was held ransom until his broke father could pay for her release. Due to them being poor and destitute, as all foxes ever living had been, they had killed his mother and his father committed suicide, leaving him on the streets at the age of 10 to fend for himself.

Nick came back to the present, glaring hard at the Chief of Police. "I'm going to get her back."

"No you're not," Bogo stated. "Even though I can't think of a reason for you not to go and help the overworked police department to find her." The buffalo walked away, but turned. "One more thing, you and Hopps are detectives now. I just felt like giving you a raise."

"That's very kind of you sir," Nick stated, "Didn't know you had emotions."

"Shut your tiny mouth now!" Bogo roared, before slamming the hospital door shut so hard that it broke the door, and the wall.

"Why are you yelling at us, sir, and why would you say we have tiny mouths?"

"Because!" Bogo bellowed. "It's a line that reminds people of the movie and I have to use it, so let it go!"

"That makes sense," Nick observed observidly. "I will find Judy and save her."

Nick exited the ZPD, only to come face to face with Judy pointing a gun at him outside. "Judy, you're alive!"

"Yes," she cried, a puddle of tears around her. "But I have to kill you to save you since Bellwether kidnapped me and told me to do this."

"But you're free now," Nick stated.

"No I'm not," Judy stated flatly and with no emotions, while punching Nick in his arm. She pointed to at least a dozen rams on rooftops around them, all pointing sniper rifles at them.

"That makes no sense," Nick said. "I would have thought they would have just shot us since they clearly have the advantage and this whole plan makes no sense."

"I know, right?" Judy stated. "I'm sorry Nick. I'm going to have to kill you now."

Judy squeezed the trigger, just as a flash of light erupted around them. A strange mammal appeared, that was a human, but they didn't know that as they didn't know what a human was, so everyone stared in shock at the figure. Then the figure turned into a fox, for some reason, grinning as he looked at his now totally toned figure that looked exactly like Nick.

"Wow, he's hot, Nick." Judy stated. Nick growled in response, jealously making him turn savage. Nick leapt at the figure, only to have the Non-Nick Nick jump out of the way at an incredible speed.

"Oh hey Judy and Nick, I'm Steve a human," the non-human fox replied.

"Oh, that makes sense," Nick stated with a smirk, now no longer savage for plot reasons. "Want to help us get rid of the snipers?"

"Of course!" the fox-human named Steve stated, pulling two guns from his pockets that weren't there a moment before. With a speed greater than both Judy and Nick put together, the fox-no-longer-human shot each of the rams in one shot each, causing them to all die with how good of a shot he was. Nick and Judy were amazed.

"How did you do that?" Nick and Judy asked at the same time.

"Oh, I was in the special forces and have an IQ of 300, as well as being the top of every class in every police academy ever. I'm basically the epitome of amazing, but quite humble and loveable."

"That makes you awesome!" Judy stated, punching Nick in the arm.

"No, you're amazing Judy," Nick stated with a smirk.

"Awww," Judy stated back, again punching Nick's arm.

"And I'll always love you," Nick stated back to her statement and a smirk. "Even if I'm not worthy of you at all."

Nick broke down in tears, crying big tears as he cried. "I'm never worthy of Judy, since how could you ever love me a shifty fox, even though I completely got over that stereotype in the movie and no longer think of myself like that."

"That's true," Judy stated. "I guess I can't love you either because how could you love a dumb hick bunny like me." Judy slapped Nick, "I can't believe I fell for you," and ran off crying.

A random male bunny and female fox appeared next to each of them, consoling the two heroes. The female fox wiped Nick's tears away. "You should be with me, even though we barely just met and you don't let anyone into your life."

The bunny did the same with Judy, so both walked away from each other and spent the night with the other mammals.

That night, both Judy and Nick were making out with the other animals, when they both realized they loved each other.

They fled from their randomly inserted squeezes, finding each other on a random street, even though they didn't know where the other was.

Nick knelt down and pulled a ring from his pocket that wasn't there before. "Judy, will you marry me? I've made a horrible mistake, and will rectify it by asking you to marry me."

"Of course," Judy stated, punching him in the arm. "That has always been the plan right? We'd both hook up with some random mammals before realizing our true feelings for each other, overcoming them through clichés and tropes and forgive each other?"

"True," Steve the non-human-fox stated, suddenly appearing. "I ship you two hard.

"I don't know what that means," Nick stated with a smirk, before kissing Judy passionately with passion that passed all other passionately passion filled kisses. Judy again puched Nick's arm, looking into his emerald colored eyes, not green eyes, but a darker green that looked much more emraldy. Definitely not an aqua, but emerald colored eyes. "I love you, you dumb fox."

The wedding was two weeks later, and every mammal in Zootopia attended. Gazelle provided the music and everyone loved everything about it since it was all perfect.

Even Gideon Grey, who was invited and made a cameo in the wedding as a groomsmammal, even though Nick didn't know him.

"Well ain't this jus' the purdiest sight fur sor' eyez."

"I have no idea what you just said," Finnick stated, looking at the fox who looked like a hillbilly. "But I agree absolutely 100% for shizzle."

All the food at the wedding was either blueberry or carrot flavored with a blueberry carrot cake as big as an elephant being the centerpiece.

All of a sudden, the cake exploded and Bellwether popped out of it. "I'm going to kill you all!" she shouted in a shouting voice. She grabbed several nighthowler guns and began shooting wedding guests.

"No, not July!" Judy gasped in horror as her cousin was being chased by a cougar. Nick stepped in and shot the cougar 15 times, saving July.

"Thank you Nick," Judy said, punching Nick's arm. Together they tranquilized the rest of the savage animals, then both punched Bellwether in her face over 9000 times before she exploded.

"Yay, we won!" Judy exclaimed, punching Nick's arm.

"We did," Nick smirked.

After that, Nick and Judy went home and had 276 hybrid kits together, all looking different from each other, except for one girl bunny who looked exactly like Judy, and one fox that looked exactly like Nick.

Together they were happy.

"I love you, you sly fox," Judy stated, punching Nick's arm while looking into his emerald eyes.

"I love you, my dumb bunny," Nick smirked back, looking into her amethyst eyes. They kissed.

The End, or is it, as a pair of red eyes glared at the couple from the darkness.

* * *

 **AN: So, there it was, *shudders*. Now please, don't make me write a part II. *cries***

 **Edited to include 50% more emerald and amethyst eyes.**


	2. I thought I wasn't going to write this

**Zootopia 2 Sequel to the Movie Chapter 2**

 **AN: This episode brought to you by the letter "Insanity". Time for Round 2 of using every meme and trope, supplied by writers and readers like you, and trying to create a semblance of a story out of it. If you see something you recognize, then YAY! My work here will have been done.**

 **AAN: So, it would appear that some folks are taking this story seriously. To that I say, please don't. This story is meant as pure, 100% sarcasm and satire, to poke fun at all of the memes, tropes, and everything else we find in our stories. You might notice some parts that line up a bit with stories you've read.**

 **That's intentional, as that is what makes this a satire. You'll also, however, find that I've heavily mocked myself and my own stories in here, and quite frequently at that as if it is written in here, I have probably written it and that's how I know about it.**

 **So please, don't take offense at this, as it is meant as pure satire with a healthy dash of snark and sarcasm. If anything, leave a really sarcastic review that matches the story with its snark. :D**

* * *

One beautiful day in Zootopia, a place where only mammals live, but not apes or dogs since those don't exist. Or people to that's a good thing. Nick a red fox with red fur and emerald eyes was meeting up with Judy a grey rabbit with amethyst eyes, who were the best of best friends in the city of Zootopia. They decided to visit her parents as they had a day off work together.

"I think you need to meet my parents," Judy said.

"Really, isn't that something only mammals in relationships do?" Nick asked in a platonic way.

"Then I guess we are dating now then," Judy exclaimed while giggling like a young kit, as that is what Nick reduced her to even though she is a grown bunny.

"I like that idea," Nick replied, giggling as well. "That is the cutest idea ever!"

Judy's face suddenly transformed as she grew fangs, her face turned red and flames shot out around her. "DON'T EVER CALL ME CUTE!" She screamed cutely.

Nick cowered before her. "Ok my best bunny girlfriend.

"Ok!" Judy chirped happily as the flames died down around her. "Let's take the next train over then!" So the two walked back to their apartments. Nick lived across town in the Rainforest District, while Judy lived over in Savannah Central. Within two minutes they both made it the thirty minute journey to their apartments to pack, and then met up again after only ten minutes had gone by.

"Wow, we both packed quick," Nick replied. "It's like we were prepared for this or something. Do you think we should tell Bogo?"

"Oh, I completely forgot about our jobs!" Judy said, forgetting about her childhood dream since she was a child and had childlike ambition. It had been her dream since childhood to become a cop and suddenly she was sad to have forgotten her childhood dream childishly. Judy called up Bogo. "Chief, Nick and I are going to take a week off to visit my parents, okay?"

The gruff voice of Bogo sounded over the small phone as he snorted, as that is what buffalo do. "Even though that isn't how leave works around here, I'll allow it since you two are my best officers. Plus I'm spending some time with Clawhauser tonight so I'd be a hypocrite to say no."

"Alright, thanks Chief." Judy hung up the phone, smiling at Nick. "Let's go to Bunnyburrow cutey!"

"Yay!" Nick yelped, as that is how foxes say things. "I'm the cute one!"

Together they hopped on the train paw in paw, getting angry looks by speciest animals while hopping on the train until Nick growled at them all while they made out while travelling out of the city and the speciest mammals left the train compartment though even though there were some that didn't leave, which was making Judy sad to see all the other mammals who didn't like them so her and Nick decided to go up to the viewing area at the top of the train, and not one located on the bottom of the train since that would be dumb to have on a train and as they reached the top level they both stared in wonder at the sights, except for each was looking in each other's eyes instead of their surroundings as they only had eyes for each other as they declared their love to each other with their gazes in the top section of the train.

"So, how long until we get there Carrots?" Nick asked.

"Oh, about three hours."

"Ah, ok," he replied.

"Arriving at Bunnyburrow in two minutes," the onboard speaker system sounded.

"Wow, that was fast," Nick said. "We only had enough conversation to last ten seconds and we're they already. How did that happen?"

Both fox and rabbit looked up at the reader reading this and shrugged before walking off the train.

All 275 of Judy's brothers and sisters were waiting for them on the platform as they got off as none of them had jobs to attend or kits to watch. "JUDY" they all cried at once while jumping up for joy at not having seen the police bunny in weeks. They all jumped up and down together, causing an earthquake on the other side of the planet which killed a group of sloths crossing a river as their boat sank due to the earthquake.

"Wow, I didn't know you had this many siblings." Nick said as Judy's siblings attacked him, knocking him over as they fluffled him, where he broke his leg due to plot reasons as he hit the ground. Several of Judy's sister came over as they were nurses and fixed it for him.

"Ah, good as new," Nick said, walking on it minutes after it broke. "Now, what was your question Judy?"

"How many do you have, Nick?" Judy asked with a cheerful voice.

Nick nearly broke down and cried. "I'm an only child since my parents broke up when I was born. My dad Robin Hood Wilde became a vigilante leader while Mom tried to take care of me. I've been orphaned since then, but was adopted by some rich mammals who were then killed by a secretive organization after training me to be their heir. I've been living alone ever since like a broke fox, even though I made over a million dollars in tax free income but don't have it for unexplained reasons."

"That sounds like a very tragic backstory," Judy sobbed, her tears creating a river of tears that tore through Bunnyburrow and drowned several mice.

It was a tragic day.

"It is tragic, as all fox's backstories must be," Nick wept, sending a second flood of tears flooding Bunnyburrow.

"And then you left me!" an angry looking vixen yelled from across the platform.

"Mom?" Nick yelped, as that is what foxes do when surprised. Sounds kind of like a yip, but a bit deeper. Judy Zoogled it one day to find out what the difference was as she was interesting in seeing the difference between fox and rabbit culture. She stopped when she decided to type in her name for fun and found some sites talking about rule 34. She cried herself to sleep that night while dreaming of Nick, which helped silence her tears as even thinking of him did that for her.

Anyways...

"How did you know I was here?" Nick yelped again.

"This is the chapter you two meet her parents, so that means you'll meet me next chapter. I just decided to show up and get the next chapter where you'd meet me over and done with early."

"Makes sense," Judy replied.

"And you must be Judy's parents," the older vixen replied, completely forgetting about her son who she hadn't seen in 20 years. "My name is Vivian Marian Hood Wilde and I'm Nick's mother."

"Ah, you raised a good boy even though we haven't met him yet," Bonnie replied, getting along instantly with the older vixen, as that is what you call a female fox.

"Oh, Nick and I are dating now too," Judy chirped, not like a bird, but just as in like a happy sound.

"YOU'RE WHAT?" Several of Judy's siblings stated.

"But I wanted to date him even though I just met him," Judy's sister Jessica said.

Judy grew rather angry as steam came out her ears. "Why you little jerk!" Judy attacked Jessica, while Nick grabbed some offered popcorn from one of Judy's brothers.

"Can I date you too?" the brother asked. Nick gulped in fear, since there isn't another way to gulp. Suddenly, a ball of grey fluff tackled the brother, causing a break in dimensions in which Judy kicked her brother into before shutting it after him, but not before a human could take his place and fell onto the platform. The human fled using his magic super human powers and went off to Zootopia where he tried to blend in.

Ha, fat chance of that working! He was arrested and thrown in jail with two rhino's who he now calls Daddy 1 and 2.

Anyways...

"Nobody dates my fox but me!" Judy angrily said with anger as her nurse sisters went to fix up Jessica, who Judy had ripped the ears off of, even though Judy doesn't really show any anger, but suddenly now does due to plot purposes.

"Aww, thanks for defending me," Nick replied. He ran towards Judy, but took an arrow to his knee from a ram from behind a tree. "Ow!" Nick yelped again. Judy pulled out a tranquilizer gun out of nowhere and shot the ram, causing him to fall out of his tree he was hiding in. To everyone's surprise, a zipper appeared and a wolf crawled out of the ram costume. So Judy darted him to, but it wasn't a tranq dart, but a night howler dart!

"Oh no!" everyone collectively gasped as the wolf went savage. Nick picked up Judy and threw her at the wolf, making the rabbit go over 9000 mph. Her foot caught fire as it connected with the wolf, causing him to disintegrate into a million pieces.

"You just killed someone," everyone gasped, holding their paws over their mouths. "As well as sent brother into another dimension."

Judy and Nick were surprised by everyone being able to think and say the same thing everyone else was saying.

"Eh, I'm a main character, I can get away with anything," Judy replied with a shrug.

"Oh, ok," everyone replied, before all of Judy's siblings that never grew up glomped onto Nick again, again breaking his other leg.

This time Nick went to the hospital, but was cleared to leave after a few minutes.

"Wow, that took forever that time," Nick stated as a rhino bumped into him, knocking him down a flight of stairs.

The doctor walking around at the bottom of the stairs looked at the fox, whose legs and arms were twisted at unnatural angles.

"Oh, I'd say take some tylenol and sleep that off, you'll be fine."

"I hate doctors," Nick replied, but got up and brushed his clothes of as Judy hopped towards him, as that is what bunnies do.

"Glad you're ok Slick," Judy said, lightly punching his arm. Nick was blasting into a nearby wall, falling unconscious.

He was out for several days, gaining amnesia from the attack and able to eat nothing but pudding cups in his bed. While he was out, he had dreams of sailing ships, marrying Judy, or flying fighter planes across the sky. They were wonderful dreams since they had Judy in them, which made them wonderfully wonderful. Also one where he was a slick action fox and Judy was a lawyer with a tazer. They were good dreams he thought.

A week later he recovered his memories in a flash montage of thoughts when Judy accidentally kissed him. He fell backwards, passing out from the love he felt through her bodacious bunny lips.

* * *

Nick awoke later that day in Judy's bed. "How did I get here?" he asked, staring at all the ZPD posters that covered all the walls. He noticed that even the wallpaper was ZPD logos.

Judy materialized next to him, snuggling up into his chest. "So warm," she cooed adorably.

"Aw, I love you too," Nick replied. "Even if we haven't had any real bonding time this entire story. In response, Judy started rubbing her chin vigorously over Nick until she rubbed most of his fur off. "Now everyone knows I love you since I chinned you, which is something I learned our ancestors did thousands of years ago and thought would be good to add here.

"Works for me," Nick replied, marking her in return, as that is the fox equivalent of what bunnies do.

Suddenly, the wall to her room blew inwards and several mammals strolled in.

"Aha! There he is!" Cried a zebra. "The one we bullied all those years ago! Let's go bother him again!"

"Oh no!" Nick cried, as he cried big foxy tears, again flooding Bunnyburrow. "My past is coming back to haunt me."

Judy froze in an un-Judy like fashion as she watched Nick's old bullies take him away while threatening him and mocking him.

"I have to find him!" she cried a second later, but found that they had vanished with HER Nick. Not some other fox named Nick, but HER Nick. Her ears perked up as she heard them in Zootopia 211 miles away, as all of Bunnyburrow was exactly that distance away from Zootopia.

"I have to help him!" So Judy ran to Zootopia in record time, following Nick's sobs and cries of pain the entire way as she could hear them with her super hearing powers that only she possessed as a bunny.

She arrived at a tailor shop where she heard evil laughter inside. Not the fun kind, but the kind that villains with nefarious looking mustaches make. She kicked in the door, not caring about destruction of property and found Nick being bothered by his childhood bullies.

"Bother, bother, bother, bother!" shouted the four bullies.

"You can't do that to Nick!" she screamed! Suddenly and with great suddenness, Judy knocked out each bully with a single kick. One of the bullies managed to kick Nick, breaking his arm.

"Not again with being injured! I'm going to go through all of that tax free hustling money on hospital bills at this rate!" the fox yelled. Judy pulled a first aid kit from her belt, as she was suddenly wearing her police uniform again, as was Nick, and healed his broken arm.

"I thought I lost you," Judy wept, weeping into Nick's arms after untying him.

They stared into each other's eyes passionately with passionate passion.

"I hate you," Judy said, causing Nick to burst into tears. "But I love to hate you so it must mean I love you."

"I love you too," Nick replied, sniffling through his big foxy tears. "I knew since I first smelled you coming into Zootopia that I loved you."

"Creepy, but hot," Judy replied. "Wait, when was that?"

"I could smell you when you got off the train that first day while I was in Tundratown making Pawpsicles."

"Wow, that's a good nose! I didn't know foxes could smell that well."

"We can't," Nick shrugged. "The writer just wrote me that way."

"Makes sense," Judy shrugged while shrugging. "It's like how I found you that second day when I booted your stroller by listening to you talking to Finnick while I was still in the station."

"Wow, Fluff. That's impressive Carrots. I didn't know you could do that Fluffbutt. And why do I call you Fluffbutt, Whiskers?"

"Maybe because you like my fluffy butt?" she seductively stated with seductive amethyst eyes focused on seductive emerald ones. It was all it took.

They were all over each other like wolves, kissing and marking one-

"Hey, I'm right here," Wolford scowled, looking at the computer screen on which the narrator was typing.

"Oh, sorry," replied the writer. "The phrase just popped out, like rabbits."

"I heard that!" Judy yelled, poking her face out of Nick's chest fur before diving back in, smelling his musky scent muskily.

"Sorry again..." the narrator replied. I'll just rewind this.

 _(Imagine the above dialogue being erased and that you never read it...)_

Judy and Nick looked at each other. "I guess we've turned back time." Nick stated.

"I guess we found a way," Judy replied.

"I take back all the words that have hurt you, Carrots," Nick said.

"But you haven't said anything," Judy cried. "And I wanted you to say I love you."

"I love you," Nick said. Judy looked up from her crying eyes, as that is what eyes that are sad do, but then burst into angry tears of sadness when she saw Nick on his knees proposing to another vixen that had randomly shown up and was the first time either officer had seen her.

 _She's so pretty, unlike me..._ Judy thought thoughtfully, as now her thoughts were crying as well as her body, creating a lake in her mind that she wanted to dive into and drown in because Nick as in love with the vixen he just met.

"Oh, I love you too," the other vixen stated, giggling gigglishly as Nick's tail wagged, as that is what tails do when they are happy. She had bright red fur that matched perfectly with Nick's and bright amethyst eyes that Nick suddenly thought he loved better than Judy's, because Judy was a rabbit, and rabbits and foxes couldn't love each other as that is biologically impossible he thought sadly with sadness.

Judy watched sadly in sadness as the two kissed, watching as butterflies and rainbows suddenly appeared around them in the air.

"Want to go to a concert for Guns and Rodents? Then get some cricket spaghetti after?" she asked.

"How did you know they were my favorite band and meal?" asked Nick.

"Because they are my favorite too!" the vixen, who Nick still hadn't asked the name of yipped excitedly, as that is what fox's do. They also go, wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pw, but only when they are really happy.

"I knew those were your favorite Nick," Judy interjected, trying to smile but feeling horrible inside.

"Shut up your horrible little carrot muncher!" Nick replied in an uncharacteristic manner as Judy had never seen him angry at her before . "I have a vixen I can love now," he stated, though inside felt his soul being crushed as he thought of the real reasons he couldn't love Judy, because of his horrible childhood, general hatred of foxes in the city and how he was a fox and she a rabbit.

Judy eyes exploded into more tears, breaking Nick's heart as the bunny hopped away, as that is what bunnies do. Nick fled from the vixen, following the smell of Judy's tears, as his sense of smell was just that good, and followed it to a warehouse where they made the night howler serum.

 _Plot purposes, duh..._ Nick thought as he entered the building through a door, as opposed to entering through a skylight, or bursting through the wall like an action hero. Instead he just did what any normal mammal would do and walked to the front door, twisted the handle, opened the door, looked inside, walked in, closed the door, released the handle, then looked for Judy with his awesome night vision that he also had as a fox.

"Judy must be inside this building, I can smell her," Nick surmised. He walked inside, only to find the door slam behind him, even though he had already shut it. The lights turned on, blinding him due to him only being able to see at night since foxes are nocturnal and without his sunglasses, he was blind as a bat!

"I heard that!" an angry vampire bat lord chirped.

"Sorry," replied the writer.

"Ah, my eyes that are accustomed to the light but hurt now so bad because I am nocturnal, even though I'm not!" Nick screamed in pain before fainting.

"Ahahahaahah, I have you now," Bellwether screamed.

"How are you alive? You exploded in the last chapter!" Nick whimpered, as that is what foxes do when they are sad. It sounded like a sad puppy, like that one who couldn't roll over in that Ewetube video, Nick thought.

"Now I have both you and Judy!" the crazy sheep crazily laughed. "Now it is time for me to monologue!"

"No! Not the monologue!" Judy cried from across the room.

"Yes, the villain's monologue!" Bellwether triumphantly said with triumph as her goons tied Nick up. Though the fox secretly dialed 911 and put his phone on silent so that Clawhauser could hear everything of the monologue.

 _Back at ZPD Precinct 1_

"Hey guys, the villain is monologuing!" the fat cheetah yelled while eating a donut. Suddenly, dozens of officers were surrounding the dispatcher.

"Shouldn't we be helping them?" Fangmeyer the tiger stated.

"Nah, they can handle it," Fangmeyer the lion replied.

"I think we should help them," Fangmeyer the wolf said.

"Why are there so many Fangmeyer's?" Bogo asked. The tiger, lion and wolf shrugged. "Dunno," all three said at once.

"Quiet, I want to hear the monologue!" Clawhauser said, though Bogo was so angry that his anger was angry. He punched down a nearby wall, and ran through it, racing towards the warehouse.

 _How do I know where it is_...Bogo thought. He shrugged and kept running.

 _(Back at the warehouse_ )

Bellwether tied both Nick and Judy together above a vat of nighthowler serum.

"Because I can't think of anything else to destroy you both with, I will use nighthowlers!" cackled the sheep with maniacal laughter.

"Don't you mean night howler, with a space in the middle?"

Bellwether blinked. "Curses! You have foiled my plans with good grammar and movie quotes! Now you'll just have to drown in the nighthowlers!"

Suddenly, and with abrupt suddenness, Bogo burst through a nearby wall, decked out with a black trench coat and black sunglasses. His uniform had changed to all black as he stared down Bellwether, who clicked her hooves and suddenly a hundred rams were around them.

"How do you pay all these henchmammals?" Bogo asked.

The rams looked at Bellwether, who shrugged. "I just do, so now attack my army of only sheep as I hate all other mammals!"

All 100 rams charged at Bogo, who brought two huge guns out of the holsters that were suddenly at his waist. The rams all drew on him and fired, filling the air with lead and bleating, as that is what sheep do.

Bogo expertly dodged all the bullets matrix style, shooting down the rams one by one, watching them poof into wool as his rounds caused them to explode.

He finally was surrounded by them, but hit the ground with his hoof, causing a shockwave to vaporize the rest of them.

It was at this point that Nick looked at Judy as they were about to be lowered into the vat of nighthowler.

"I'm sorry Fluff, I thought we couldn't love each other but I love you."

"I love you too." she hiccupped. She leaned in and they kissed, filling the room with happiness. Even Bellwether was affected.

"Awww...I can't hate you guys when you're like that." She pressed a button, which moved them away from over the vat of nighthowler.

"Yay!" They both cried, hugging each other as Bogo arrested Bellwether. "That's the power of friendship!"

"That's my line!" A yellow colored horse yelled from across the warehouse, just as thousands of cops showed up to help.

"Let it go!" all the cops sang, causing the pony's head to implode.

Nick and Judy thanked Bogo, then left paw in paw into the sunset.

"Wow, that was all in one day," Nick stated.

"Yeah, amazing how fast we can get everything finished in, huh."

Nick nodded, then kissed his bunny.

 _His bunny..._ he thought.

 _My fox..._ Judy thought, before they both made out again.

 _MY bunny..._ Nick thought louder.

 _MY FOX!_...Judy mentally screamed at Nick.

Suddenly, a giant bat swooped down and stabbed Judy in the chest.

"Oh no! Judy!" Nick yelped as that is what foxes do. Judy looked down at the gaping hole in her chest and frowned.

"Mr Bat, I'm going to have to arrest you now," the rabbit said, before grabbing the giant bat and tossing him to the ground.

"No!" the vampire bat wailed as he was cuffed.

"Shouldn't you get that checked out?" Nick asked his bunny.

"Nah, I'm fine," Judy replied. "I've had worse."

"You lie!" shouted the bat.

"Come on ya pansy!" Judy yelled back.

"Have at ye!" the bat taunted. "The black bat always triumphs!"

"Wrong movie guys," Nick said, crossing his arms as Judy hung her shoulders and took off her knight costume. "Great reference though."

"Sorry Nick," Judy replied, sniffling as she walked towards him.

"Ah come here. You bunnies, so emotional."

The knife magically disappeared as they hugged, with Nick's tears healing her wound like that part in Tangled where that happened.

The two hugged as the sun set and butterflies danced in the field they were in, as well as lots of moths and other nocturnal creatures like that.

Together, the two walked home and eloped at the nearest chapel. Then went home and proceeded to do what all newlywed couples do.

They went to bed and slept. The end.

"Finally that guy stopped narrating our lives," Judy stated.

"Nope, look like he is at it again," Nick sighed before looking at the author. "Hey buddy, we're trying to sleep, so stop with narrating our lives ok?"

"Ok."

"Thank you."

The end

Nick and Judy: "SHUT UP!"

* * *

 **AN: So, there you go. I loaded this thing up with as many tropes, cliches, memes, and references to stories (including my own), and mocked them all. If I have forgotten any, I'l just add them to the next chapter if I write it. Which for the sake of my sanity, I hope I don't...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Crack Fic - Round 3...Nothing is safe!**

 **AN: LIke, youz all totes liked my 1first two chapters which is amazing! All ya'll ya'lls are amazing! SO here's ChaPter 3! :X**

-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`AAA

The pair of dynamic duo Judy and Nick were racing down the street chasing after evil doers and were gasping for breathe.

"Why'd did they have to be cheetahs!" wheezed Nicke wheezily.

"You need to stop eating at Five Guys Buggaburgers and Fries Nick!" shouted Judy shoutily as she zipped across the street in a second, as fast as when she was ticketing cars, which is super fast! She pounced on the cheetah's knocking them into a car which KO'ED the two foul feisty felines.

"they have an accomplice!" Nick shouted, pointing towards a fox running away from them.

"You'll never get me you traitor to my species!" the fox yelled back at Nick, causing the fox with no emotions to weep until a flood of tears trickled down his face and cheeks and neck.

"Get a grip, Nick," Judy said, holding an umbrella to keep the tears at bay while she threw a red dress at the fox. "Now, dress like a woman and catch him!"

"What? Why? Why would I dress like a woman?" he asked, holding up the bright red slinky dress. "I'm not some princess you know!"

-five minutes late-

"Hey sexy" Nick whistled seductively at the other fox, which for some reason had hung around that area.

"Oh wow gorgeous!" the other fox who won't be given a name because I can't think of a good one at the moment(plz forgive me for it) said as his tongue lolled out. "Kiss me now hot thang!"

"eh, gross, I only kiss rabbits." nick wild replied with a huff, crossing his paws across his chest.

"really?" Judy asked, as she appeared from nowhere and jump kicked the fox, placing a collar around his neck. "Good, we caught the bad guy!" she shouted, making strange rabbit noises as she did so in a rabbit victory dance.

ZAPPP!

"Ouch," the bad fox groaned, as the collar on his neck shocked him. "This hurts."

Get used to it," Judy said as she walked over to Nick, swaying her hips seductively. "Now how's my big boy doing?"

"Boy?" Nick huffed. "I'm a girl!" he/she said.

"Well I'm a guy," Judy replied in a man's voice. "It's why I'm called Jude the Dude.

"We got to get you out of that dress," Jud(e) said as she/he pulled out a chew stick to gnaw on as his/her teeth had grown three sizes that day. "Now lets go make out as you look hot."

"OK!" Nick(y) shouted.

They made out for several hours in their patrol car, but that was okay since Chief liked them and they were his best officers, not like the other officers who actually did real police work. They sucked compared to Nick and Judy, who were also secretely thinking of runnig for mayor, but weren't sure yet. So they just made out on most of there shifts.

Suddenly, Nick woke from his dream. "Wow, that was a crazy dream!" Nick shouted into the darkness.

"Not so loud," Judy said next to him. "DOn't you know I'm pregnant!"

"You are!" Nick yelled happily. "I'm a daddy!

"No you wont' cause I hate kids and am ending the pregnancy."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." Nick yelled out in a Darth Baader (see an animal pun!) voice.

"SHut your mouth Wild!" Bogo yelled at them from the other side of the wall. "Clawhauser and I are trying to sleep!"

"Yeah, shut it!" their other male neighbors yelled, we're trying to sleep!"

"You wound me Carrots," Nick cried, "How can I love you anymore."

"I don't know," Judy wept. "Or our freak children. Especially that one that has the one rabbit sized foot, while the other is a fox sized foot, then has the one rabbit ear and the other fox ear, plus how half his snout is long and the other half is short like a bunnies and his tail is also two different tails, one long and one short".

"We love our freak though," Nick cooed.

"Do I know that? Yes, yes I do."

Amethyst eyes met emerald ones as they stared longingly at each other. Then they made out again which made more hybrid babies that were half fox and half rabbit and had horrible times in kindergarten and were laughed and teased constantly. But that is okay since they would eventually become amazingingly weathy and be the mayor and police chief so it all worked out int he end.

The next day, Judee and Nuck were walking to work when a ram jumped out at them.

"Another ram?" they asked each other.

"Ahahahahah"

BANG BANG!

Nick saw two pellets connect with Judy's face, turning it blue. "Oh no, night Howlers!" Nick yelped as the ram ran off, but was quickly punched by Clawhauser who was now thin as the other officers pranked him and taped his mouth shut for 15 days.

Now savage Judy started growling at people, snarling at Nick even.

"Oh no, she doesn't recognize me!" Nick shouted as she lunged at him, amethyst eyes turned into slits. She wound up her bunnie legs and kicked Nick hard.

OoooFFF!

Nick was launched into the sky by the force of Savage Judy's kick. He burst into the stratosphere, his fur catching fire as he shot down from the sky like a comet, or a meteor as a comet is a reindeer and Nick is a fox so he doesn't have horns, or are they antlers, but anyways, to make a long run on sentence run even longer while repeating words repeatedly, Nick flew down through the sky and crashed into the ground, causing a massive crater to appear.

But don't worry though, nobody dies in this story. They just get really bad boo-boos.

Anyways, Meteor Nick groaned as Savage Judy viciously assaulted his clothes in a frantic attempt to rid HER fox of his clothing to do something dirty minded with him, as bunnies are great at multiplying as we all know. Frantically, Nick frantically crawled away from Savage Judy, until his back was against a wall.

Or that was what he _thought_ it was...

It was actually a massive elephant with even more massive ears that massively covered everything near him.

"Hi, my name's Dumbo," the large eared elephant said.

"You have big ears," Neck commented, completely forgetting about Savage Jody.

BUT NOT FOR LONG MWUAHAHAHAHA! As Savage Judy proceeded to tear into Dumbo for talking to HER mate. The elephant trumpeted in terror before fleeing from the rabbid rabbit.

"DAWWWWRRR!" Juudy screamed, as she pulled a plunger out from somewhere, probably the same place she keeps her carrot pen.

As Judy leapt forward at Nack, apparently to do some very naughty things to him, a brown bunny with a very large chest leapt in front of the fox.

"No Judy! You can't do this to Nick!"

Judy stopped, suddenly coming back to her sense. Then, her advanced sense kicked back in as she leapt at the rabbit in front of her.

"I can't have Nick so I'll have you instead!" she roared as she began to suck face on the surprised brown doe. The two rabbits began making out in front of Nick, his jaw dropping to the ground in surprise.

"But I love Judy and she loves me, we just can't admit it to each other yet," Nick whined, so loudly whining that it broke the glass of nearby buildings that hadn't been destroyed by his meteoric descent back into the city from Savage Judy's kick.

Both rabbits looked at him, shrugged, then went back to kissing, making Nick more despondent with each passing hour as the hours turned into days that the two rabbits were making out.

He actually thought it was sort of hot, but was trying to imagine himself as the brown bunny so that he could be kissing Judy.

So he cried instead.

It was at this point in the story, that somebody made a review saying that stuff needed to happen. So the author decided to make stuff happen for no raisen.

A whole herd of horses galloped into the crater, intent on looting everything that had survived Nick's face hitting the ground at a 1000 miles per hour, also known as 1609.34 kilometers per hour for those who don't live in 'Merica.

"Ney!" the horses shouting, all of a sudden sprouting guns from jackets they had just put on. The gunfire drew Nick and Judy's attention, and they pulled out their own guns and proceeded to blast the horses into oblivion with a rat-a-tat-tat. Then they ran out of bullets and they ran away as Bogo came in and saved the day with his horns of doom that plowed through the ranks of horses like a plow would to what a plow would plow. (researched this so it totally is legit)

With the latest threat gone, the nighthowlers in Judy's system calmed and she saw Nick with new eyes. She saw how much she loved him so she threw himself at him, kissing him madly and with wilde abandon.

Which suited Nick fine as he had been waiting days for her to stop kissing the brown bunny who had disappeared all of a sudden. He thought he saw her hopping into the ZPD tactical van before it started rocking from side to side but shrugged it off, but he only shrugged it off because right next to it was Finnick's van that was rocking side to side as well.

"Carrots, I love you Carrots," Nick said. "Carrots, I know I like using your nickname, Judy, so I'll try to use other nicknames as well to state my love to you Whiskers."

Together, the two tiny mammals walked into the city, Judy glaring at all females who were within 100 feet of Nick, while growling at those within 25 feet of them. As they walked, they saw a group of sheep.

"Those must be the villains in this story," Nick whispered to Judy as they passed the friendly group that all waved and bleeted "Hello Officers" to the pair.

"We should arrest them for being sheep, as that isn't stereotyping at all," Judy replied. Before they could arrest them thought, several other mammals walked up to them, a skunk, another bunny and a deer.

"Hey look! It's Officers Hopps and Wilde," the skunk skunked. "My name is Flower, and my bunny friend is Thumper and my deer friend is Bambi."

"Wow, such original names," Judy and Nick said together.

"Yep!" Bambi grinned with a grin so wide it split his face in half. No really, it actually did so he started talking like that one doll on South Paw...anyways...

"Yep!" Bambi repeated because the author lost track of where he was in the story. "My mom is right over there." He pointed with a hoof towards the other side of the street where a female deer was smiling and waving at them.

"I have you now!" a voice yelled out! Suddenly, a weird furless creature wearing camoflauge jumped out of nowhere and shot the female deer (also called a doe but don't want to be shooting Judy now do we). So he shot the deer twenty times. "Haha!" I killed a deer!"

"Mother, no!" Bambi wept as Judy and Nick tackled the hunter.

"This story just went dark," Flower said. "I think I'll burn down a building now. Want to join me Thumper?"

The two ran off as Judy and Nick pummeled the hunter human until he was a human pancake, then threw him back through a portal to the human world.

"That was fun," Judy said, suddenly putting a mask over her eyes. "I like beating up mammals."

"I do too," Nick said, also putting on a mask. "We should do it more often XD."

"Slick, did you just use an emoticon while talking to me, Nick?"

"Why Carrots, of course I did. I'm that talented."

"Fine by me," the foxy fox replied. The two then proceeded to beat the ever living fur out of a bunch of criminals as vigilantes until a white rabbit with black stripes and an female arctic fox stepped in front of them.

"You two, we have an assignment for you 2."

Judy punched an antelope in the head one more time before replying, as he had beaten up a kitten and those things are adorable. "What type of assignment?"

"We need you to take down a drug ring that works with nighthowlers and catnip, as there are no other types of drugs available to mammals in this world.

Nick kicked a raccoon named Javier between the legs several times, after the raccoon had made crude comments about Judy, before looking over at the agents. "Yeah, what would we have to do?" he asked, kicking the mammal several more times, causing him to become an even higher pitched soprano with each kick. With one last kick, Nick joined Judy standing in front of the agents. "Eliot, take over the kicking will ya?"

"Will do!" a white wolf in a police uniform said happily, beginning to kick the raccoon even more. "One point...two points..three points...only 997 more points to go."

"Well, first off, we need you in these mech suits that a billionaire twenty something year old made and fight crime."

"SWEET!" both Judy and Nick yelled in all caps (as that is how you signal you shout in a story), as two mech suits suddenly dropped from the sky. One looked like a robot fox, complete with green paint over the torso area and the legs area was tan. So it looked like Nick you know? The other was shaped like a bunny, but was a very curvy bunny with a large chest and was all grey.

"Hey, where are my robots' clothes and I'm not that curvy!" Judy shouted.

"Oh, sorry, Jack made that one," the arctic fox said, giving the male bunny a glare that melted his face.

"Mmfhmfhmfm" faceless Jack replied.

"What did he say?" Judy asked.

"He said the fanboys made him do it.

Judy turned towards the computer screen from which you are reading this story and glared at you. "I hope you aren't one of them ya pervert!" she shouted at you before returning her attention to the two agents in front of her. Suddenly another robot fell from the sky that looked much more like Judy in her police uniform.

"That's better," Judy chirped merrily. "Now let's try these out Nick!"

"Alright, though this story is just getting stranger and stranger with every passing moment."

"I know, isn't it great?" Judy said, testing out her mech suit by having it smash its fist into a crook. Said crook exploded into a massive bloody...

..ring, ring..."Hello," says the author into his phone. "Oh, I have to keep this pg? Oh...okay." hangs up.

Anyways...said crook exploded into confetti. (happy now?)

"Yes, great job Judy as everything you do is either excellent or absolutely horrible," Jack replied. "Now if you'd like to fire carrots at your enemies, just press the button near you."

Judy responded by shooting millions of carrots around the city. "Eat your veggies cretins!"

"Wow," Nick said, having his mech suits arm scratching his mech suit's chin. "She doesn't seem in character at all anymore..."

"AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH," Judy laughed in a grinchy manner as she made sure the city got their vitamin A.

"Yep, totally out of character," Nick sighed.

Suddenly, as that is all anything ever happens in a story like this, a massive murderbear approached the two tiny mammals in their mech suits.

"Aha! Itys a bun&fix!" the murderbear shouted murderously with murderly intent. "I've found you so my dastardly plans can commence! Mwuahahahahh!"

Suddenly, and in a very suddenly sudden manner, both Judy's and Nick's machines made anime poses.

"That's strange," they commented together.

"Sorry, they are programmed like that," Skye said.

"Mffmmmphmfh" replied faceless Jack.

"Okay," replied Hepps and Walde as they proceeded to proceed towards the murderbear, their amethyst and emerald eyes gleaming like savage looking (insert amazing simile or metaphor here).

The battle was climatic and battley! And stuff! They fought and battled for the entire day, then night, then day again just because they had to and...

You know, forget this. Apparently nobody cares about this story anymore since it doesn't get a bajillion reviews per chapter anymore. I had like, five my first chapter and now its at negative seven! I mean, what the fluff! It isn't that bad. This is my best writing! There isn't a grammer mistake in this thing yet everyone always says, "You wrote this wrong," or "you suck at making stories, you pathetic geek. Your premise is shakey, your outlook is bleak." You just don't know what a good story is people! I slaaaaaved over this and spend almost an hour on it! I don't need an editor! That's for horrible riters! That's it, I'm gone, you'll never find out the ending to this story unless I get 100000 reviews by next Saturday! By the way, Judeon rules so ha!

.

.

.

.

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.

.

 _*Judy and Nick poke their heads out from the computer screen*_

"Did he really just quit writing the story?" Judy asked.

"I think he did..." Nick said with a frown. "Which sucks...I liked that mech suit."

Turning to face the fox, Judy narrowed her eyes. "Seriously Nick? That is all you can think of at this moment? The mech suit? This author just destroyed us in writing and-"

Nick clasped Judy on the shoulder, smiling down at her. "Judy, let's just follow Buffalo Butt's advice and let it go, hmm?"

Judy sighed. "Fine. Now come on, let's go to the 10-7 and see if Atom and Trisha are there."

Nick's ears perked up as he followed the rabbit off screen. "Will I get to see the return of the Vodka Witch tonight?" he snickered.

Judy turned her head, giving him a wry smile while flicking her tail. "Depends on what you'd want to see after that."

 **The end**

* * *

 **AN: This is the final chapter. I won't be writing any more to this series as I don't want to have to pay all the medical bills for those who tore out their eyes while reading this. I think it has been a fun side project, but now, it is finished and I hope you have all enjoyed (painfully) this series. :)**

 **Special thanks to everyone who gave me ideas for these parody chapters and which stories I should poke with a stick. Euphonemes for giving me the idea for the start of this final chapter as well.** **Again, I hope you enjoyed these blights on the Zootopia fandom and the tropes/memes they contain.**

 **~Cimar of Turalis/WildeHopps**

 **PS. I don't ship Judeon like that statement said as that is probably the most trollish, meme/trope out of this entire story. WildeHopps forever here. :)**


	4. Chapter 4 I think? Read to know da wae

**Chapter...something? I dare you to read this all the way through!**

 **AN: I should put one here to warn you that this document is pure and unadulterated garbage. It came directly from my brain, onto the page, without a second thought to what was happening.**

 **You've been warned...and can thank DrummerMax64 for this chapter. XD**

* * *

It was a usual, regular day for Judy and Nick. They started the day making fun of each other, with Judy punching Nick repeatedly in the arm, and Nick playing pranks on her until she cried.

You know, normal relationship stuff.

So they smooched a little before leaving their apartment, because both their prior places stunk to high heaven and they needed new ones but couldn't afford anything except living together.

So that be what they do...

They showed up at the precinct, slightly bloody and Nick missing a tooth from when Judy jumped up to hit his arm, but knocked out his front teeth.

It was then the ninja assassins struck, slicing down half of Precinct One with a deadly deadliness.

Nick woke up with a start. "What happened?"

Then the ninjas killed him again.

And repeated this another 45 times until the author got tired of using Nick as the fandom's punching bag and had them do that to Judy.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Nick yelled with a yell that caused the ninjas to explode. "Yay! My Vader scream killed them all!" Nick fistbumped the now not dead Judy.

"I want to stop being a cop," Judy cried. "My parents were right, this is too dangerous. I must leave."

"But Joody!" Nick cried with a loud cry. "They only killed us already 47 times in the chest! We have to be cops due to the danger!"

"What you say!" the rabbit bunny doe gasped.

 _Do you mean like in a surprise and alarm? Or more of a "Ahhhhhrrhhh!"_

Nick raised his paw, catching the attention of the writer. "I think she did it in a surprised way.

* _writer nods_ * "Okay, we'll go with that."

So the bunny rabbit doe gasped in surprise and alarm. "How have they already killed us that many times in the chest? That's impossible!"

"That's madness!" Jack shouted, popping up from inside a planter box, the large shrubbery still atop his head and dropping dirt onto his silk suit that was woven by the finest weavers to ever weave anything woven.

The whole station went quiet, a soft, " _wa wah wannnn"_ sounding as a tumbleweed rolled through the precinct.

"Where did that tumbleweed come from?" Nick asked with a questionable question. "Do you eat those, Carrots?"

"I don't know...I'm sure that tumbleweed isn't sanitary. It looks questionable to me."

Jack waved his striped paw at the two police mammal officers. "Uh, I'm still here and I said, that's madness!"

"Madness?" Judy repeated with wonder and questioning why the striped rabbit of stripedness would repeat himself.

Nick walked over to her with a large book bound together like a book with nice not-leather bindings, because they don't do leather in Zootopia. "Here's the script for what we're supposed to say."

"Oh," Judy sighed with heavy sigh. The female rabbit bunny cop doe lapine flipped through the pages until she found this moment.

"This moment?" she asked the writer.

"Yes, this moment," I replied.

"Ah okay. I know what I have to say now!"

Judy slammed the book shut with such shutting force that it collapsed in on itself, forming a black hole that sucked in a nearby mouse named Flamenco Rodent of Unproportional Sizes.

Don't ask me why, that's his name, his parents must have hated him or something.

Anyways...

She slammed the book shut as she slowly turned her head towards Jack, who was slurping on a slurpee as this scene which should have taken five minutes has now taken about eleven or so. "Madness?" she asks slowly.

The reader's attention was then suddenly shifted to Nick, who was staring blankly ahead as he slowly blinked, as if in slow motion.

"Oh, this is cool!" Judy said as she hopped in front of Nick, waving her paw in front of him. "Maybe he can tell me what being like Flash is like?"

She ran from in front of the slowly moving slowed fox and in front of Jack. "THIS IS ZOOTOPIA!" She shouted with a loud shout that also shattered the windows of her home in BunnyBurrow 211.5 miles away. (her house is .5 miles away from the barn she performed in, okay?!) The shattered glass shattered on top of about seventy of her siblings, killing all instantly.

It was a sad day.

But back to Judy and her shouting.

Judy punted the striped rabbit with a kicking punt into a giant hole that appeared behind him, one that Clawhauser was digging in order to find a hidden stash of donuts that Nick had told him existed beneath the precinct. He was about fifty feet deep with using nothing but a spork, and has lost about seventy pounds already, though still was like, 100 pounds overweight.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jack screamed as he fell, his stripes falling off at the speed at which he fell.

"Ewwww! He got a stripe on me!" Judy yelled, flicking the offending stripe off her. "I hope it isn't contagious!"

A loud thunk echoed from below.

"Hey!" the jolly voice of Clawhauser laughed with a laughing laugh. "Something fell on me! Is it a donut? Or Gazelle! I hope its Gazelle because I think nothing else but Gazelle! Gazelle is my favorite Gazelle! Gazelle!"

"And that is why I wanted him to dig that hole," Nick laughed, now at regular speed again.

"Nick!" Judy growled, punching his shoulder, which also knocked his arm off. Both fox and rabbit looked at the limb on the ground.

"I think it will grow back," Nick said with a statement. He looked down to see a new arm had grown back, one made of metal with a red star on it. "Oh cool! I have a metal arm!"

"And I have a shield!" Judy said, suddenly appearing with a star spangled shield..wait...guys, this is the wrong movie for this...

Both bunny doe and fox tod looked sad and showed their sad bunny and sad fox eyes.

...grumble grumble...stupid cute eyes...

Okay, they kept the metal arm and shield and went out to help people by patrolling all of Zootopia.

"Hey guys in car 49999," Clawhauser squealed into their radio. "There's a C-12 happening on Oaken street with a H-27 happening at the same a J-99-

"Bingo!" Nick yelled from the passenger seat as he played a blueberry onto a bingo sheet. "I win."

"A TRIP TO DOING PARKING DUTY!" Bogo roared in a roaring voice into the intercom with such force that it ripped the top off the cruiser they were driving, which fell behind them, flattening several mouse sized cars.

It was a sad day.

"Oh, I've always wanted a sun roof," Judy exclaimed joyously with joy while waving her paws above her in the newly opened car, like a newly opened can of sardines.

Unfortunately, that also caused the cruiser to weave onto the sidewalk, squishing several beavers out on a field trip from Mount Wannahockaloogie. They tragically suffered a tragedy of dying.

Judy corrected back onto the road, but couldn't see through the red covered windshield.

"Must be strawberry jam," she muttered annoyedly.

PAGE BREAK TO BREAK APART IDEAS

Nick huffed in irritation. "That's no strawberry jam, Carrots, that's mammals."

"You mean like that soylent stuff?" Judy asked back in a gasping tone as she was again surprised and alarmed by the revealing revelation.

"Exactly!" Nick said. "Bogo be mad when we get back after this patrol route."

Judy shrugged, "That's easy to fix. We just have to stop another conspiracy like last time."

"You mean... _The_ Conspiracy?" Nick asked.

Both mammals blinked, then looked out at the reader, then past the reader to wherever Zanrok lives, pointed their fingers at their eyes, then at him.

It was at this moment, the most terrible calamity happened. And no, not a giant pig monster calamity, that would be childish. Like something you would see in a video game, gosh. No, this was a tragic tragedy of tragecolic proportions!

It was then the tornado hit.

It was an F19 on the scale, so big that it enveloped all of Tundratown, then all of Sahara Square, then all of Savannah Central, then it skipped over the Rainforest District because it is a beautiful district and was needed for plot purposes later...

AND THEN IT TORE THROUGH BUNNYBURROW!

It was a sad day with many lives lost.

But also...the tornado brought with it something terrifingly terrible! Judy and Nick were thankfully spared from the tornado, hiding out in an underground garage making out on work time, which was against work policy but because everything was gone, they quoted Bogo and said, 'Who cares' before snogging it out.

The tornado brought with it...THEM...

Those...

Who know...

DA WAE!

The whole city was swarmed over with THEM. There were blue ones, and red ones, and ones where leather not leather jackets that were harassing the survivors of THE TORNADO of DOOM!

"Is the writer really writing all this?" Judy asked Nick in the middle of their make out session.

"I guess so," Nick replied. "As long as we can continue to make out, I'm fine."

Judy nodded with a nod. "Works for me!"

They went back to snogging for fifteen days, no need to eat since they were sated by their love for each other. The love was actually so great, it brought back most of the animals who died in THE TORNADO back to life.

*shoots party streaming into the air* "Yay!"

But the problem of...THEM...was still there, so Judy and Nick went outside and started tazing them left and right until they kidnapped Judy, calling her, 'da queen'.

So an epic rescue of epicly epic proportions happened. Nick came into their hideout, guns a blazing, tazers shooting, claws a racking, a partridge in a peartree a singing and Bogo balleting. The last thing caused everyone who saw it to go blind, but Bogo don't care about them.

"Nick, you rescued me!" Judy shouted with a shout of shouted joy.

"I did!" Nick replied.

The ground thundered and groaned and the building shook with a shakyness.

"What was that?" Nick said, his frame shaking itself.

"I don't know!" Judy cried into his chest, then turned all super-cereal. "But I'm going to crush it! Judy smash!"

"Calm down turbotastic," NIck said as the building shook again.

The roof part of the top of the building was ripped off by a giant spotty paw and a forty foot tall Clawhauser looked inside. "I have found the secret magic donut stash and became...MEGA CLAW!"

He cackled widely but had to stop when a flock of geese flew into his mouth. It was actually kind of funny so Judy laughed and Nick laughed, and the one surviving THEM laughed until Nick killed that one too.

So they ended up not having to fight MEGA CLAW as he choked to death on a flock of geese.

 **The End...**

* * *

 **AN: I told you it was terrible...**


End file.
